Get Out Of My Way

Is it abuse?

2011-02-23T12:06:00.003+04:00

Lovely photo, doting father...blah blah

But, is it ethical? Poor, poor, rich child. I am saddened. What has the world become?

To purposely force a child to be raised without a mother seems almost akin to abuse. My kids loved sleeping on my chest, sliding a hand inside my bra....this is their Mama, soft and sweet smelling. Their father could not offer the same level of comfort.

The verdict is still out on this one, but it has yet to be proven that homosexuality is not learned. What about school? There will always be the children who will ask him where his Mom is. What will he say? It is ok, I have 2 dads? Oh lordy.

more here

Mubarak is out, Egypt is free (Ta7ya Masr Ta7ya Masr! )

2011-02-12T09:39:00.003+04:00

Well, this is what the people wanted, a revolution. Now they have it.

Mubarak has left his homeland. I feel some kind of sadness, that at his age he has to suffer so much. I am sure there are people out there who would put me straight on this. Let us see if Egypt can improve during my lifetime. Personally I doubt it, but then I have never met an Egyptian that has given me a very good impression.

Now the big question: Where is Hosni right now?

More here

update

Winehouse in Dubai

2011-02-12T09:23:00.005+04:00

WOW, what can I say?
I did not go as I am not that attracted to her voice. I shall admit to having a few of her songs on my music box, but very rarely listen to them, unless I have an irate driver in front of me and then a little bit of wining gets me going.

Anyhooooooooo, even though I did not attend the concert, I have it through other sources that Amy was not thrilled to be here....she should be blimin lucky really, all things considered that she has made it through the trip unscathed (there is still time), unlike what she did in Norway.

Here are some reviews: The Mirror

Expatwoman

In Loving Remembrance of His Highness Sheikh Saqr Bin Mohammad Al Qasimi, Ruler of Ras Al Khaimah

2010-10-27T09:52:00.001+04:00

Those emails from the Camaroons

2010-04-06T14:02:00.004+04:00

We have all had these emails, offering us money in return for helping them transfer some funds or another.... but does anyone actually read them?
I have not read them since the first one I opened, and they find themselves being banished to the same spam folder along with those genital enhancement offers. If I was a man I would, no doubt, be quite excited at the prospect of walking around with a donger the size of a bolster pillow. I would probably read every bank offer with great delight too, it is just a men like thing to do.

Today I was feeling quite manly, and decided to open the mail and read it. No binning it in my 'forever hopeful' folder. Today I was going to see which part of Nigeria is inviting me to share their fortune. Here it is:

I was actually surprised to see that it comes from Equador. Where is Equador anyway? I think it is in South America, it sounds like it. I think I have smoked cigars from that place. I have also heard about drug lords from there. Now email scammers from Equador. Sounds like the place to be. The other thing I was surprised at was the obviousness of it being a scam. The first thing to notice is Royal Bank of Scotland. Since I don't bank with them, I would not really expect mail from them, especially the same email being sent to multiple recipients all having 10½ million in their accounts. How odd though that they would even imagine that we would believe them. Are there really that stupid enough people out there on the net? REALLY? It was pure entertainment for me, I loved the line: "we make our system upgrade". I read it with a nice accent. I would like to thank them for saving me from the fate of the Gulf News on this exciting Tuesday.

Flying with the flu

2009-10-01T12:19:00.001+04:00

SQH, 27, a resident of Kohat, was brought to Pims on September 23 with symptoms of virus. He used to drive taxi in Dubai, where he contracted the virus and was admitted to a private hospital.

Medical tests conducted in Dubai had confirmed that he was suffering from swine flu. Later, he flew back to his native country and approached Pims for medical treatment, where he again tested positive at the time of arrival.

Ahhhh, how joyous to know that people are still spreading the flu, the right way.

I hate other peoples kids

2009-07-08T10:14:00.005+04:00

Well folks, I have been a disgustingly boring blogger (DBB), but this last year I have seriously gone down hill.
All excuses are now so over-used I would not blame anyone for reading no further.
Yes it has been a traumatic year, as all are for me. Sickness, kids, school issues,travel blah-de-blah-blah. I know I can waffle on and on about everything and nothing.
My biggest gripe at the moment is some kids in my son's class at school explaining in very fine detail the in's and out's of sex. He is 10 yrs old and now has graphic pictures in his head of how a man put's his thing into a lady's thing and it takes about 28 seconds. If a man likes men instead of women then he is gay and will put his thing in the man's bottom thing. All these things have made me feel very ill indeed. I have been asked questions. A lot of questions. Weird questions. 10 year olds kind of questions. How long does it stay there? How does it feel? Do I have to do it when I get married? What if I do not like the look of it?
The final conclusion for my little (well, he was.....) boy is that he will no longer decide who to marry based upon her pretty face or her cute smile or her intelligence. Now he has new criteria. What does her THING look like.

Blue Banana no more

2009-06-27T20:07:00.002+04:00

Well it seems we may see the truth behind the rumours of expats running away to escape jail.
Blue Banana, the popular "gift experience" company has gone bust.

More here.

Triad, something to do with 3

2009-05-13T10:18:00.002+04:00

Back in July 2008 I blogged about gay marriage and men giving birth (oh yeh), and I even joked (silly me) about a threesome marriage.

Well guys, the wait has not been that long. We can now offer the new and exciting way to marry. It will be called a Triad wedding and will be a union of 3 people, possibly more. YUP. This sounds like having your cake and eating it, over and over.
For many years I assumed that a triad had something to do with a Welsh demon or a Chinese gang.

I just do not know what to say next. What will be next?

The following link is a pic I wanted to add to this post but did not want to offend anyone, so pls click with caution

Say no to BORK

2009-05-07T11:40:00.000+04:00

Thanks to my bestest friend in Seattle for sending me this link.

Couldn't resist more beggy news

2009-05-05T10:05:00.000+04:00

Watch out for the begs....

2009-05-04T17:06:00.000+04:00

I found this here

LDL v HDL

2009-04-08T10:53:00.002+04:00

As you all know I have a slightly addictive nature. Once started on a project I can not seem to let go until I have missed a lot of sleep and finally realised that it served no purpose other than to satisfy myself that I knew everything.

About a year ago I embarked on the 'family tree' hunt. You know how this one goes, in a kind of morbid quest to find oneself we dig and dig, secretly hoping to discover a weird or whacky twist in our ancestors lives that will possibly shine some light into why we are who we are. Confused? Of course. But it will happen, and you will search like I did. I ended up with over 3,000 relatives spanning some 13 countries. My tree became so large that would you believe me if I told you that I could slot you in there? Yes, I found out where I descended from, and it has helped me none. I am your sister dude. We are all related.

A few weeks ago I was informed by a very kind doctor that my cholesterol levels are not where they should be. W H A T? No No No. This kind of stuff does not happen to me. I mean, I am a healthy chick. I don't really care for burgers. I do not over-indulge in oily foods. I told this doctor to stick his lipids results and he would see in 2 months time that he was wrong. very wrong.
Addcition sets in. I study cholesterol like my life depends on it (may be true). I realise that my 'healthy' lifestyle may have not been so good for me after all. Standing on the power plate for a few minutes a day does nothing for the cardio, so it is back to the treadmill for me. Diet - UH OH.....too many rich lobster thermidors swimming in a buttery, cheesy sauce are .......omg...I cannot say it. Banned.
My new healthy regime consists of flax seeds in my oatmeal, and sprinkled on everything, never ending bowls of blueberries, blackberries and mounds of cholesterol reducing nuts. Smoked mackerel and tins of Omega 3 rich John West products (dolphin friendly, of course). A cob of corn every evening is my biggest treat. I am pounding the treadmill at every available opportunity. I am crazed. Delirious. OBSESSED.

and then I read the following:

The view that a change in diet (specifically, a reduction in dietary fat and cholesterol) can lower blood cholesterol levels, and thus reduce the likelihood of development of, amongst others, coronary artery disease (CHD) has been challenged. An alternative view is that any reductions to dietary cholesterol intake are counteracted by the organs such as the liver, which will increase or decrease production of cholesterol to keep blood cholesterol levels constant.

I need a Cadburys creme egg. biryani bulging with hunks of meat and potatoes, glistening with saffron. murgh makhani. Naan. lobster. slab of rump, medium-rare pls. any kind of mornay. sauce. rich, creamy. breadcrumbs. under the grill. bubbling, oozing butter. yum.

gimmesum

TRUCK-PUKE-O M G

2009-04-06T20:41:00.002+04:00

Ok guys (n gals), here you have it:

I am getting travel sick. B I G time.

As a kid I was a projectile puker, planes, trains and automobiles. boats too. 2 week long cruises around the Baltic Sea left me 10 kg lighter.

But it passed. Slightly. I still threw up flying to the States. Landing at George Bush Intercontinental I had my head in the loo, while the flight attendant wedged himself into the door frame as he attempted to avert any further scenes from my side. As we trundled down the runway I wanted to kiss that toilet seat. YEEEHA

Back to present. I am getting car sick. A lot. An awful lot. If you see a manic woman on the side of SZR hanging on to the back of her truck, head in a bag, then please don't stare. This is happening to me every day. Muscat (ok, 5 hours with kids in the car is enough to encourage any stomach to evacuate it's contents), UAQ and now Ibn Battuta is too far to go. WTF is happening.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

How time flies

2009-04-05T14:18:00.002+04:00

Lordy loo, has it really been that long? I bet nobody is even gonna read this now, it looks like I went AWOL.

The traffic is clearing, and loads of white folk are packing up and moving on. Who cares I wonder? Maybe brownies are clearing out too, but somehow I don't think they are the cause of Salik.
I will be pleased to see a pre-80's era return, although I doubt that will happen.

I have finally got my smart business with Emirates Bank functioning as it should do, even though I have been paying for the service for nearly 4 years. Shocking but true.....I know, I know, nothing to be shocked about.

BYO

2008-12-25T22:38:00.003+04:00

A potluck dinner is fine when that is how it is announced, and I have had a few with the 'girls', and since we all have our own signature dishes we can easily predict what the outcome will be. It is also acceptable to have potluck meals when there are many people attending and in a public place, like at the school. It is not alright to expect guests to bring food and/or drinks when they are supposed to be the hosts and holding the function in their own home, especially if it is a celebration (birthday, wedding etc) and gifts will be brought.

I have had two invites recently, one for a double birthday party, where the sms (yes, imagine that) stated that we were to bring our own drinks, I assume presents would not be enough. The second invite was to come over for mince pies on boxing day, and to bring all our left-overs and booze with us. WTF?????? I am still getting over that one.

I know I am old-fashioned and a prude in many ways, but I find this insulting. If it was close friends or family I would laugh it off, but these are people that we have never socialized with before, and it does not look like we ever will. How can you host a party if you cannot afford to feed/water everyone? I would never dream of turning up empty handed anyway, but to be instructed like this is just so so...yuk.

OH YUKKY.

rabid pornography

2008-11-17T12:18:00.003+04:00

Last week I read a letter to the Gulf News where a father had complained about the cost of quality car seats in the UAE. His wife had been sitting in the back of the car with the baby for about 8 months, while he drove around looking for a cheap but excellent car seat. Moron, as if that would exist. Pay up and shut up. The car seat should have been purchased before the baby was born. IDIOTS, IDIOTS.

I have seen 3 friends recently explore the dangers of teenagers on Facebook. One question I always want to ask them, is why, why oh why, did they allow these kids to roam around online, allowing all and sundry to view their faces and read all about them, when these same kids would never go to a shopping mall with a label hanging around their neck informing everyone of who they are and where they live and when they were born.....etc etc
Of these 3 friends, I can say that one of them had no idea what Facebook was and also very little knowledge of the internet. Not an ideal excuse, but she did not use car seats with her kids either.....
Friend no.2 was trying to allow her daughter the freedom that she cannot have in todays 'real' world. She really had no idea of the dangers (hmmm....or chose to hope it would never come her way).
Friend no.3 thinks that her daughter is an angel and is busy blaming her classmates for dragging her 'down'.

Whatfuckingever, Perhaps I am over-paranoid, but this is 2008, not 1968. Predators are everywhere. Rabid drivers to online child porn.

Today I had to tell a very nice lady that I am sorry, my daughter cannot come to her house to play with her child, since we do not know them. I am sure she thought I was bonkers, maybe I am, but better to be safe. My daughter will hate me, again. Whofuckingcares?

wii 4 mii

2008-11-17T11:22:00.002+04:00

Well, this is a fact. I am offcially 'old'. My daughter informed me of this last night as she examined my 'chicken legs' and 'sagging tummy'. She also told me that I had dandruff (no, it was the flour from baking 36 cakes for the bake sale at school, like she cared). The reason that I am being attacked in such a violent way is probably due to the fact that according to the WII Fit, I have the lowest fitness 'age' in our house. My hips are secretly creaking after hula hooping all weekend (don't want to lose my No.1 position), and my ski jumps leave everyone breathless....Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeha

Memories, huh

2008-11-13T18:04:00.000+04:00

MOONTED police

2008-11-03T10:25:00.001+04:00

Sorry for the bad pic, one of those driving moments, was stopped in heavy traffic and looked over to read the sign....haha

Power shot is not so hot.

2008-10-31T22:08:00.005+04:00

I have had my Canon Power shot for quite a while now.
As you can see, I am unable to take a decent photograph to save my life.
Obviously I have very few memories of the swimming gala and my fantastic attempt at making croissants, and that is quite a shame, as my baking skills surely surpass my photography.

Yo, Wassup?

2008-10-30T18:23:00.002+04:00

I changed the kids' school, well not school exactly, but moved them to another branch. It was extremely traumatic, no silly, not for them. For me. I am slowly getting the hang of it all, just too old for change like this.

Had a large portion of my cervix removed. Apparently it was 'only' stage 1.....yeh right.....stage anything - when in doubt, whip it out. More trauma for my battered soul.

Finally I had another root canal done a few days ago. It was almost ok, compared to the cervix thing. I cannot believe I have endured something worse than having the insides of my teeth scooped and drilled (they go down about 1.9 cm into the roots with a mini drill bit, up and down scraping out all remnants)....Feck man. What a life.

I see the Sex-on-the-beach scandal is still going on, crikey, they should have a colposcopy as punishment, followed by a root canal....hahahaahaaaaaaa.

Sammy the Shark is still being held hostage at Atlantis, so sad, like what? Who gives? There are kids dying in this world and people spend time and money campaigning for Sammy. Shocking, truly unfuckingbelievable.

Thats my lot.

More of my crap

2008-09-12T10:22:00.003+04:00

Hey all. Wow, how time flies (not having fun...), been busy travelling and having more root canals...I can hardly find anything to blog about.

I drove down Al Wasl road the day they 'activated' the Safa Park Salik gate, had I known this was the day then I would surely have chosen a better way to spend 3 1/2 hours. Fortunately I had a stack of magazines with me, and I also completed my cross-stitch which I have been working on for 13 years, I kid you not, 13 fucking years. I must send Salik a thank-you note.

Ok, now I need assistance. I have set up a Linksys wireless Internet Video Camera (WVC54GC-EU). For those who know nothing, PLS do not respond.

I set it up and set up the sololink. I also set up the port forwarding on my router.
I had a lot of difficulties and Linksys support were unable to help me, so after much forum-searching I found that most people use dyndns.org, so i opened an account and set it all up. It was working great and I got my Dad to check it out from overseas, and it was doing good. All of a sudden everything has gone beserk, and basically it is no longer doing its job. anyone with experience, pls tell me what to do. I think Eatshite have blocked all my ports.

Arabian Ranches new flyover

2008-09-09T11:51:00.000+04:00

Show them to me............

2008-07-07T08:54:00.002+04:00

The world has gone mad

2008-07-05T10:50:00.002+04:00

Ok, here I go..................if it is not bad enough already, the world wants us to accept that marriage (a union of a man and a woman) is now to be accepted by 2 people of the same sex.....then what next? a threesome marriage? Why not? After all, whatever values we may have once had are now being threatened.

Anyway, here is what next. Yes, a man had a baby. NO NO NO. Wait a moment. It was really a woman who had the baby. She wanted to be a man, so she had a sex change operation and lived as a man. Then she changed her mind and decided she wanted a baby. She did not really change her mind though, she had kept her female organs, knowing full well that she wanted to have a baby in the future. Is she screwed up? Simple answer, yes. Will the child suffer? Of course. Is it criminal? I believe this amounts to child abuse. Am I screwed up too? Yes I am, for having to live in a world that has lost all sense of family values.

Racist or not?

2008-06-28T17:54:00.003+04:00

Is it wrong to be a racist? I ask this, because I know it is not fair that people do not have a choice about their race, but I am battling very very hard indeed with this one.

Their is a particular race that I cannot stand. I hate the way they look, talk and eat. Their tactlessness is unbelievable. I could go on and on............

No, this is not a phobia (which would probably excuse me somewhat)...it is REAL.

I will not employ anyone from this nationality either. Good job I am in Dubai otherwise I could face a court for my feelings....yikes.

My daughter has one of this race in her class at school, and she is the only child who causes problems, is rude and is always jumping around like a meer cat.....

To murder ones child

2008-06-28T17:43:00.003+04:00

I watched the Neil Entwistle trial on tv recently. I have no idea if he is guilty or not. The jury found him guilty of first degree murder for both his wife and baby. His defence was absolutely pathetic, and the circumstantial evidence was enough to convict him.

I wondered how he remained so calm and never flinched throughout the entire trial except once when he did actually cry. If they were tears of remorse or not, who knows. But somewhere in his eyes I see innocence. It made me wonder.

Anyway, I came across this, on the friendsreunited site and thought I would post it here, before it is deleted. It is obviously outdated, but got me thinking ..... again.

I look like a flower......

2008-05-05T12:50:00.000+04:00

I am here...........

2008-05-04T22:17:00.002+04:00

OK, OK....I know. It has been ages. Had a lot going on, been sick, been busy, been pissy, been bored and been busy with renovations and work. Mafi time left for this thing.
Anyway, I am now only mildly sick, not too busy, slightly pissy and have finished all other assignments.

A word for the ladies out there who don't visit their ob-gyn frequently...DON'T forget that they don't only check your lower end, they wana see your boobies too. DO NOT, and I repeat NOT do as I did.....Have a shower, see the time is running and quickly shake a load of talc in your bra to silk yourself up. The humidity is upon us, and when the delightful Doc asks you to lift your bra, you proceed to spray a load of chunky clumps of powder all over the place, including up her nose. YUK man. I could have cursed myself. She probably thought I was bonkers. Obviously she would not be far wrong.

I have bought myself a map of Dubai. After 31 years in this pit I am lost. I cannot find my way around. Seriously, it is bad. I can navigate the mountains of Ras Al Khaimah with more accuracy than trying to reach The Greens. My GPS map is also brain-fucked. It took me to the Flip-flop consulate instead of Dubai Hospital.

Finally, if you drive clk55 or ck55 or cl55 or some frightfully small silver mercedes and park so close to my vehicle again, I shall repeat what I did last week. After climbing in through the front passenger door and lugging my hot, sweaty body across 7 feet of front seats, I proceeded to open and close my door about 300 times (it was sticking you see), unfortunately with each clang it caught on your passenger door....it was only as I was reversing that I noticed you had one mega red dang in the side....yikes.

I have loads more crappa delights for you, coming soon.

Feeling bored? take the test

2008-03-16T10:57:00.000+04:00

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	8.6
Mind:	7.6
Body:	6.1
Spirit:	8
Friends/Family:	7.5
Love:	9.1
Finance:	9.4
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Been cremed

2008-03-12T22:23:00.003+04:00

Oh it is that 'cremey' time of year again. I love eating them and hate the shops for stocking them.
I hid a stash of the yummies on the top shelf, behind the suitcases in the dressing room (these are not for kids...). Once they has fallen into a deep slumber I got the ladder out and tiptoed up in a long nightie. Yes, you guessed it, bad idea. My foot got caught in the night gown and I lost my balance. I came crashing down with a massive thump, landing flat on the floor with 24 creme eggs all around me. I looked up to see 2 very surprised (and delighted) faces. I was caught. and I have a lump on my head.

Thanks Paddy

2008-03-11T15:59:00.006+04:00

Wow, thanks to Paddy* & Richard for their mini 'review' of my blog today on Dubai Eye.

My sitemeter could not keep up with the unexpected flow. (Yes, 12 more viewers than I normally have by this time of day....hehe).

*Paddy Smith is the Editor of Stuff for the Middle East, a regional edition of the world's biggest selling gadget magazine.

wino

2008-03-11T12:28:00.002+04:00

I cannot find the words. see for yourself.

Your Sins are Revealed

2008-03-10T19:36:00.003+04:00

Your sin has been measured. Happily for you, your sin profile leaves room for forgiveness. Just below, discover your full sinful breakdown and see the areas that you must improve, to save yourself from an eternity in hell.

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Very Low
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	Very Low
Pride:	Medium

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

GUESS WHAT?

I am tagging the following with this quiz:

Jayne
Buj
Ammaro
Kaya
Seabee
Princess
Rosh

Listed in no order of preference.....

Flying across Dubai

2008-03-09T20:28:00.003+04:00

I'm gonna get me a Merlin.....and finally I will be on time.
Al Khail, here I come.....YEEEEEEHA

Being female

2008-03-08T22:23:00.007+04:00

Hormones are wonderful things. They regulate growth and metabolism and play a small part in reproduction.

When they get their wires crossed they can go beserk. Mine are having a party. TSH is up the creek (or disappeared), which will at some time in the future give me the joy of Osteoporosis. Already suffering from recurring bursitis in the hip, I can only imagine what it will feel like when I slip and break that stupid joint.

I could really do with having my cyst producing ovaries removed....but then I will increase my odds of Osteoporosis, so I shall hang on to them, gripping the edge of the bed every few months while I can actually feel the cyst reaching exploding point. It gets bigger, and bigger and starts to bubble as if it is on the stove coming to boiling point. Once it bursts, the relief is unbelievable. Then we go onto simmer for an hour or two. At present I have a cyst on one ovary that is doing nothing except giving me a 'dragging' kind of ache every few weeks. It will neither grow nor explode and is about the size of a large lime (so says the ob-gyn). This has been going on for a very long time.
During this time, my other ovary 'pops' every 2 - 3 months. It is excruciating, but all over and done with in a few hours. It always occurs between midnight and 5 am.

To add to all these woes, I had a 'patch' put on my uterus after my last C-Section. What the heck is a patch?, I here you say. I do not know either, but it would have suited me better to have the whole damn house removed. Now the 'patch' and whatever else they did to me caused major adhesions.....these in turn caused my insides to adhere to each other. So my bladder, uterus and bowels have become one. If one cramps, then the whole lot goes into a grand mal seizure leaving me gasping for breath. Perhaps the adhesions have spread up to my lungs. Oh Life! I love you. Give me a bout of diarrhoea and I will experience period pains, cyst explosions and cystitis together. Yeeeeeha...bring it on.

You are probably wondering why I am dragging you all through this horrible part of my life.....I have just discovered that every single female that I know is having or has had some kind of dilemma with hormone-related health matters.

Every day I load myself up with Thyroxine and evening primrose oil, and for 16 days of the month I top up with progesterone (forgot why now) and also glug a load of stress reducing B-Vits. I still feel like a piece of crap though.

You know the saying about what does not kill you? In that case I am an Oxe right now.

Old friends, forgotten.

2008-02-29T17:17:00.003+04:00

I called an old friend the other day. The last time I saw her was a few months back. A mutual friend of ours had coffee with her a few weeks ago and she asked how I was.
Anyway, back to the call.
She answered and said hello. I said 'hi, this is Magdalena*, how are you?'
She said 'which one?'
.......hmmm......so I told her I was so-and-so's Mum (since our kids started nursery together). Ohhhhhh, she said.
Long Pause.
I then made my excuses and said she could get back to me when she was not so busy.
She did call me back a few hours later, but I did not recognise the number, so it rang away to itself.

*not me, obviously.

REFUND for Internet disturbance.....yeeeha!!

2008-02-18T20:58:00.001+04:00

"We understand that, whilst no fault of Batelco, our customers were severely inconvenienced. Consistent with our brand values and Customer Care principles, we are offering this once-off payment recognising the unique circumstances,"

Yes, you read it right. Batelco. Not Etisalat or Du.
Read on:

UAE telecoms operators Etisalat and du were both contacted to see if they would also be making refunds, but failed to respond at the time of writing.

Been Tagged.....again!

2008-02-14T09:17:00.003+04:00

Thanks Buj for this.....

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages)

a Scandalous Life........by Mary S. Lovell

2. Open the book to page 123.
Yes Boss!

3. Find the fifth sentence.

"She knew that she could never again make her home in England; nor, after her divorce, would she ever be allowed to live in Germany."

4. Post the next three sentences.

"But she was at peace with her family and was going into the future with her beloved Spiros and darling Leonidas. The parting from her parents had been hard, for she worshipped her father, her 'dearest Babou' who always forgave her transgressions, her 'sweet' Madre' who never wavered in her love for her daughter, and Edward whose career and future had been blighted by Jane's scandals. All knew it would be a long time before they met again."

5. Tag five people. here goes!

Kaya

M&J

Seabee

Dubai@Random

Keefie

when to be concerned?

2008-02-13T11:21:00.002+04:00

See where they were at before they reached my page.....lordy loo

Housemaids & Plugs

2008-02-07T17:10:00.000+04:00

Never assume that your maid knows where to plug the dryer in.

When you smell that familiar 'fishy' pong wafting through an area, do not assume that others will also recognise the smell of a burning plug.

When you identify the location of the smell, remove the plug yourself. DO NOT, and I repeat, do not ask the maid to unplug it and wait for your return to assess the situation.

Otherwise your maid might do as mine did, and wait for it to cool down and then restart the dryer (yeh, like we beat her if she does not get the sheets dried...hawhaw).

Luckily I arrived in the nick of time.

Save the children. Please.

2008-02-07T13:42:00.000+04:00

I am convinced that all parent/parents-to-be should undergo some kind of course in child safety, especially those lacking some cells up there.

My fury started when I saw the family down the road from me transporting their kids to and from school with heads hanging out of sunroofs, windows etc, and of course no belts, nevermind a car seat! Wana know the worst part of this? Last year one of their little ones was killed in a car accident, due to being thrown through the front windscreen in a small-ish accident. Totally avoidable, as you can well imagine. Once bitten, twice shy? Naaaah.

Then we have Madeleine McCann, whose name brings sadness, repulsion and despair to all those who hear it. Educated parents, but oh-so-fucking-stupid.

Now we have this, and again, I wonder. How many parents leave young kids in a room with blind/curtain strings hanging. Kids just LOVE to hook ropes and stuff around their necks. This is the reason why we can buy 2 kinds of kiddies bath-robes. One is cheap and has a belt with loops to hook it through. The other will be more expensive but the belt will be stitched on, preventing accidental strangulation. Take your choice. China direct. Or China via M&S quality control.

Anyway, the point I am getting at is that we have so much access to information these days, not like yonks ago when you had to cough up and buy Dr Spocks book or expensive parenting magazines from Fleet street. Now just log on and there is more than enough stuff to keep you reading through all those sleepless nights with a newborn.

Take it from me, I am not child-friendly, and the fact that I have produced 2 kids is quite amazing. But I have and it is my duty to protect them from as much as possible. This includes predators, blind strings and loose cables (to name but a few).

Blogger template is screwed up

2008-02-05T22:08:00.000+04:00

FECK FECK FECK
I cannot read my own bitchy blog now.

Wanted ............one volunteer to resolve my template issues.

I like my Betamax and chak chak chak tv.

2008-02-05T21:37:00.001+04:00

There seems to be so much talk about the old days.
I am guilty of it too, and just cannot stop myself from reminiscing.
I want to shut up but it is all around me.
The new world is consuming me and I am fighting tooth and nail to keep the old times.

I am strong but this tornado is battering away at me,
determined to shake the cracked ground away from under me.

I thought I had just about clobbered it when along came seabee,
and again we are waltzing through Satwa Souq, just like when it was all we had.
Funny thing was that we never longed for malls that accomodated 700,000 aliens and I did not know anyone who did. So why did they build them? Oh yes, I forgot, it is all about the new people and what they want.
Perhaps it is just moving with the times. I hope someone remembers to come back and collect me.

With my strength returning, I visited Ammaro and was looking forward to reading about his search for a new but obsolescent TV. He took me so far down memory lane that I felt physically sick. He was making fun (yes, FUN) of tv's that are so ancient and chronic, but that also adorn a little cupboard in my spare room. Yes, I still have one of those chak chak chak button things. I shall not even tell you if it is colour or b&w. I could not stand the shame. Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
He went on to introduce people to some strange things called betamax movies.
Can you imagine that?

Well, get this. I have a box of them too. I suppose I shall never get the chance to convert them now.
I had planned on moving them to VHS, but there is probably little difference between the two.

OK, I shall get over this. I will go out and buy a plasma (LCD perhaps) TV this weekend.
I will be publishing a photo of it shortly. I am determined to get through this gracefully.

Time for some pofak I think.......

Musical Memories

2008-02-05T13:16:00.000+04:00

Sometimes music can trigger memories that you would never had recalled otherwise.

There was one particular song that often used to come into my head, but since it was my own voice singing it I did not give it much thought. Until I stumbled across the following on youtube, purely by chance.

It takes me back many years (I do mean many). I was playing football with the boys, in the sand, barefoot, as we did......one of the lads used to keep his tape player on the side and replayed this song over and over again. I loved it.

I miss that time. I was very happy and knew very little about the 'real' world. But mostly that was a time when Dubai was mine. All mine.

Will we get a full week in?

2008-01-20T12:23:00.001+04:00

In the last 10 days the kids have been in school for one of them. YES, one.

Thursday - OFF, Islamic New Year
Friday - OFF, w/e
Saturday - OFF, w/e
Sunday - IN SCHOOL
Monday - OFF, Bush International Day
Tuesday - OFF, Our part of the desert was flooded
Wednesday - OFF, All schools closed due to flooding
Thursday - OFF, Flooding
Friday - OFF, w/e
Saturday - OFF, w/e

Birthday greetings........

2007-12-19T19:19:00.000+04:00

Wishing Kaya an extra special (wink wink) birthday...........

Many happy returns from your fellow bloggers.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Eid Mubarak

2007-12-18T16:29:00.000+04:00

ding a ling ling

2007-12-12T17:33:00.000+04:00

Phone rings......

Hello
I need your fucks.
Pardon?
Your fucks. Give me your fucks.
Can you please repeat yourself? I did not quite catch that.
Number of fucks.

Given the seriousness of his tone, and his lack of telephone/language skills, I allowed the lewd caller a few seconds more.

What number shall I give you?
Fucks. MADAM, you no understand. I need to send you fucks immediately.
Hmmmm, are you sure?
MADAM, please give me your fucks machine number.
OHHHHHH, my FAX number? dohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I am back. ugh

2007-12-10T21:46:00.000+04:00

Ok ok. enough of the gossiping. Yes I very nearly lost my grip on this earth. The check in counter tried in vain to take every ounce of my strength. They failed and I made it back home just in time to succumb to a very nasty virus indeed. Thankfully I am now on the mend and feeling slightly more like myself. I shall soon be bitching away as good as before. My arms are bruised and battered and my veins shall hopefully re-surface.

See you all soon.

ONLINE CHECK-IN

2007-12-05T10:59:00.000+04:00

At the airport, please refrain from using the 'online check-in' desk, unless you have checked in online. Is that simple and clear?
If on the other hand you decide to go to that counter because it is empty and then proceed to spend 25 minutes discussing seat arrangements and more, while 5 of your kind check in at the the regular counter, do not expect to see some rather pisssy looking faces behind you. If you do see the pisssy faces, do not look at them in amazement and declare that the delay is not your fault. If you do say such things and also add that the person behind you was giving you bad looks, then do not look so surprised when the person says to you that they were just surprised that it took so long as this is the queue for checked-in online folk. "Online? what is that?"
OFFS, jump off this earth and die. I hate all of you. Stupid people walking on my stupid life making it a stupid hell. I am pissed beyond words.

Same colour, different shape.

2007-11-16T13:54:00.000+04:00

When an American man sees the colour black, he sees it in a circle, when an Emirati sees the same colour he sees it in a square. A very rare person may see it in all dimensions. No matter how far you try to integrate and communicate, most of it is lost, not only in lanaguage translation, because that is not all that is involved. To understand a mind-set is very difficult and complex, and so too, communicating with someone of another religion and race involves cultural understanding that is almost impossible to learn.

I say all of this because there have been plenty of issues that have been blogged about recently that are not being answered by the appropriate persons, and the reasons are abundantly clear. To some. It all depends if you are looking at the same shape or not.

I do like freedom of speech, to a certain degree. I would hate to see the UAE becoming another America/UK. All I hear these days are people complaining about no rights, no freedom of speech, false improsenment etc etc. This country has moved forward very dramtaically, construction wise. Even education is way beyond what it was. Culturally it is the same though.

On another note, how are Jolie/Pitt planning to enjoy their new island without being married? Or are they exempt from stoning to death?

Lastly, some posts of mine have been removed due to reasons beyond my control. Sorry about that, they may come back in the future when things settle down.

Another Tag (sorry Kaya, I FORGOT)

2007-10-22T08:46:00.001+04:00

OK, so I was asked to mention 5 reasons why I wish I was 3 again. I am not sure that I remember a whole lot about being 3, here goes:

1) I miss my Dad putting me down for an afternoon nap before he went on his shift work.

2) I miss falling asleep in my rubber ring in the sea, and waking up wrapped up in a towel on the beach.

3) I miss jumping over dead cows on the beach to reach the sea (they used to chuck them off the ships in those days, if they died).

4) I miss listening to Buddy Holly records in the car (oh yes, a record player in the car!!!) and sitting on my Moms lap in the front seat (big no-no in todays world).

5) I miss my Dads MG sports car.

Just for the record, I shall mention a few things that I do not miss:

1) Lack of a/c
2) Being blamed for everything, since I was the youngest.
3) Getting my hair cut in the garden.
4) Cockroaches in my bed.
5) Sultanas in the curry (vivid memories).

There you go, and along with my last tag about i-things you should now be able to accurately assess my mental health, or lack of.

Been Tagged

2007-10-21T12:05:00.000+04:00

What's in an ipod? I don't know. I hate them. I hate i-anythings. Buj said, "Music is the window to the soul, and to know what people listen to gives us some insight on how they work".
I am not convinced that my selection will give anyone such insight, but it is worth a try.

Here is what I do have on portable music devices.

Getting embarrassed.

Ughhh.

My extremely mixed up list:

Laid - James
No woman no cry - Bob Marley & the Wailers
Santorini - Yanni
Wish you were here- Siddharta (Buddha bar)
Reflections of Passion - Yanni
Easy Weight Loss - Paul McKenna (hypnosis)
Not me Not I - Delta Goodrem
This Land is Mine - Dido
aint got no money - Nina Simone
Daniel Powter (don't know the songs name)
Wisemen - James Blunt
Kan Nefsi
Man Eater - Nelly Furtado
Hips don't lie - Shakira
Gently Out of Tune - unknown artist (!!!)
Nocturn de la Lunedi - " "
Side Saddle - Russ Conway
Roulette - Russ Conway
Wishing on a star - Rose Royce
Hungry like the Wolf - Duran Duran
Suburbia - Pet Shop Boys
Wishin' and hopin' -Dusty Springfield
Crazy - Patsy Cline
Jack and Diane - John Cougar
Rocky Mountain Music - Eddie Rabbit
Texas in my rear view mirror - Mac Davis
Cosi fan tutte
Black Magic Woman - Santana
Hello, I love you - The Doors
Love me two times - The Doors
Two out of three aint bad - Meatloaf
Kiss you all over - No Mercy

There is a whole lot more, but it gets deeper, darker and more evil. Best left where it is, me thinks.

Days gone by

2007-10-04T11:20:00.000+04:00

Dubai left along time ago, but occasionally we get a whiff of it and it brings strong feelings of nostalgia. Ramadan is a time where we see a little bit of tradition popping up. I know that nothing can stay the same, but oh, how I wish, just for a little while to have it back.

Al Dhiyafa street was the home of Dayvilles ice cream. Now we have Häagen-Dazs. Who would have ever thought that we prefer it? Bring back Dayvilles any day. We didn't have to look for parking then either, just drove up onto the pavement, right up to the glass doors.

Fast food was Greenland Cafeteria in Jaflyia before it was overrun by Eat & Drink Cafeteria.

Cars were TOYOTAS. Almost every house had a Toyota Crown parked outside. I am so old, I can recall Nissan in the Datsun days. Seriously, it gets worse. My neighbours had a Datsun 180b. I kid you not.

Coca cola did not exist, but Dixi did. And it was nice.

Crisps were Pofak Namaki from the grocery. We tried not to buy the packs that had faded in the sun (probably on the ship coming over here from Iran).

Tv was Daktari ( I believe on Aramco tv), and we had Daktari every day, over and over, on and on, repeat after repeat. But guess what? I wouldn't mind watching an episode now, just for old times sake.

For those that cannot relate, I apologise. For those that were there, all is not forgotten. But it has gone.

Things that get my goat. Part 1

2007-09-30T19:30:00.000+04:00

Stealing. In any shape or form (except internet downloading....hehe). The worst has to be the ignorant people who stand at magazine counters in stores and read everything, but pay for nothing. I don't know how the store managers can ignore this habit. I even feel guilty if I flick through to be sure it is the correct publication before purchasing. I know magazines are expensive, but thats the whole point. They are for those who can afford them, and not for tightwads.

If you are guilty of this, then be sure it is stealing. And you look so damn cheap it is unbelievable. They are everywhere....free-readers.....Choithrams, Eppco, Spinneys.......Panda....Carrefour....need I go on? Next time you read your free-mag, look over your shoulder. I shall be clicking away and shall reveal you shortly.

Go to the library, Doctors office, American Hospital.....anywhere.....where they are free-to-read.

It's been a while.....

2007-09-19T12:19:00.000+04:00

This as been a long summer and I have plenty to talk about.

DU sim cards do NOT work in some areas of France....they may not work in any areas for that matter, but where UK vodafone & Orange, Australian vodafone and Etisalat do work, DU does not. Du you get that? Ok, nuff said.

If you happen to live on a narrow lane anywhere between Beckenham and Tunbridge Wells in Kent and found your wing mirrors missing, hanging off or simply scraped during the months of July and August then I offer apologies. No, I did not think I was in Dubai, but quite simply could not stop to own up. After a count of 40 hits I had to admit defeat and just keep on rolling. Now I know why the car rental company offered me extra insurance, "just in case" which would cover me for just about anything. Funny how they didn't mention it until after they saw my passport...hawhawhaw.

I am not a big fan of facials and stuff like that. I get my nails done and feet scrubbed, but thats about it. For the last year I have been meaning to book myself in for a facial at this place called Sisters Beauty Lounge. Loads of the ladies have been praising the place and I just had to know what it was all about. SO, off I plod for my 9.00 am appt (they texted me the day before to remind me and to make sure I was on time......aha). I got there early and was seated. After reading 2 magazines (and having air freshner sprayed in my face) I looked at my watch...9.15...ok...and then some staff started arriving. At 9.20 the lady who looked like she had just jumped out of bed took me off to another room for my deluxe 1 1/2 hour facial. I changed and she got started. She was slapping on creams and wiping them off, more creams and more wiping...a little steam and a bit of squeezing, then more creams and wiping....and more cream along with more wiping. Are you bored yet? Anyway, I am laying there waiting for the magical part of the whole process to begin when she says, ok then. Please leave the door open once you have changed. UH? WHAT? are we done? did I fall asleep and miss something? Went out to reception and paid my Dh.225/- and went off to the car. Looked at the time and it was 10.15, which means my facial went from 9.25 to 10.10 and my eyes were smarting so badly from the amount of gunk running into them that I thought I was reading the time wrong. My friend encouraged me to give them a ring and see if this is normally acceptable....which I did, but it seems that they have no Manageress and the owner is away until next Sunday. There you go.

****UPDATE**** I have received a call regarding the facial. The owner was greatly apologetic and quite concerned about my experience. She has promised to make amends and was extremely gracious about the entire incident. To be perfectly honest I have only heard good things about the Salon, so my experience must be an isolated one.

****************************

I have been blog hunting recently, since my brain was unable to scoop together enough blurb for you guys, I was looking elsewhere for inspiration. Anyway I came across one that I really enjoy and was even tempted to try out her recipes. WTG to Sultana for a lovely written blog that makes me want to come back for more. I did make the Machbous, and my pics are here. It did not look identical to yours and I promise I did not alter anything....hmmm....except for the tomatoes. Sorry, I had no fresh ones, so I used tinned. Naughty me, I know.
The food was great and went down a treat.

Mothafockasalik

2007-06-29T13:01:00.000+04:00

Ok, being polite about all of this road toll shit is a waste of time. Now I will spell it out clearly. YOU CANNOT ANNOUNCE WHERE TO PLACE THE TAGS ON PARTICULAR VEHICLES A FEW DAYS BEFORE THE LAUNCH. AFTER PUSHING EVERYONE TO BUY AND PREPARE THEIR CARS.....now you tell us. YOU FUKKERS. Come and lick my A$$ and bring me a new sticker, and then place it on my vehicle yourfuckingselves. I have 2 vehicles that have definately got the tag in the wrong place and one vehicle I don't know about....cos you are saving that bombshell for after we have clocked up a few weeks fines (one would imagine).

Ploody Hell

2007-06-27T18:26:00.001+04:00

Using these search words, they find themselves at my blog.

WIMBY......hawhawahw

2007-06-27T10:37:00.000+04:00

Many years ago their was a company called Al Futtaim WIMPY (it may still exist, god knows). Anyway it was located in the Ras Al Khor area and there was a roundabout there which was known by all as the Wimpy R/A or Al Futtaim R/A. Now it has been gone for a while, but we still call the flyover the Wimpy R/A. But Gulf news decided it should be called WIMBY.

Quite fitting for the Arab speaking I suppose. We can go to Wimby and have a Bebsi whilst watching the Britty girls go by in their Borsches.

Olympic BJ

2007-06-15T22:52:00.000+04:00

So, it seems that the general consensus is that the much awaited logo for the 2012 Olympics resembles Lisa Simpson giving head. Hmmm. I studied it for a while and decided that it did kind-of look like that, among many other things.

This got me searching the web a bit for more details and I came across this site, and this logo just had me pissing myself....

And it belongs to The Brazilian Institute for Oriental Studies. Yup.

Anagram of the day - RAT

2007-06-15T16:36:00.000+04:00

Salik = Kalis = Double Edged Sword

Tolls....AGAIN

2007-06-15T13:05:00.000+04:00

Ok, this road toll thing is starting to get on my nerves, not a little bit but a LOT.

I agree with most, that this is untimely and possibly going to cause major chaos like we cannot imagine.

IF it is to go ahead then I will willingly pay the required fee to pass through and have a clear run to wherever I am going, BUT I am angry about the locations of the Tolls, which will allow people to dodge them and join the road later on (assuming that they will get a clear path to allow them to do so).
If I go through Garhoud Bridge and go on towards SZR then I will get blocked by the huge amount of cars coming from Al Maktoum Bridge and Bur Dubai... NOT FAIR.

Here is my suggestion: Section off a lane from the start of the Toll that allows exits only. So it would go like this, after passing through Garhoud Bridge you will have the option to enter the Toll lane, which will not allow traffic to merge with you but will allow you exits at various points along the way until you reach your exit Toll near MOE.

Is this possible?

Ear plumber required

2007-06-11T13:51:00.000+04:00

I have a pain in my right ear. It started to work its way up to my temple. Now it has found a spot on the top of my head to jab me whenever I stop giving it a second thought. I have had it for a long time now. My sinuses are blocked and most likely infected. It is amazing that bacteria can even start to grow in this body that has had an entire pharmacy pushed through its system in a week.

I cannot hear a thing and am starting to get used to being 'deaf'. I missed my slot in the bank the other day. I was sitting there waiting for the ping. I was number 57 and after a long wait I looked up at the machine (the one that ping pongs) and saw it was on 7fking4. How did that happen then? Cos my ears did not hear the pongyping noise cos the ENT doctors in this town are CRAP> YES. crap. I have learnt to lip read at speeds that would amaze you.

Anyway, if this ear thing does not drain by tomorrow then I have been threatened with surgery. Yes, threatened. Like I can dictate to my ear...."drain now you wanker or else"....."there's the doc, block up now".

I took my meds, did my steaming, stood on my head for 4 hours at a time and even stopped moaning, until now.

PISSY DAY

2007-06-04T11:29:00.000+04:00

Having had a bad cold and congestion for a few weeks I was shocked when it took a turn for the worse last night (should have been getting better)....the pain in my ear was excruciating...I was writhing in agony.

This morning was a dentist day but I had to call in sick on that one...and went to the clinic instead.
Diagnosis: One major ear infection, inner and outer.

Drive to Spinneys to buy something to eat so I can pop my pill collection and allow the anti-biotics a free run. Back in the car with poppy seed bagels ( I KID YOU NOT) and lay down to put my ear drops in. Suddenly whoosh BUMP...WTF. The bitch getting into her Armada next to me had whacked my wing mirror with her door. If someone pisses on my car, be it be a door-ding or a head on collision, they may as well kick me in the teeth.

I blasted my horn, but she nasty fucking cow told her driver to step on it. Just fucking wait until I am feeling better and I am coming after you, fukkd-arse-bitch, with a fury that will make you wish you had never ever set eyes on my car. In the mean time I hope the fleas of a thousand camels infest your triangular part with such might that you would imagine a double dose of cystitis and thrush to be heaven. You shall be cursed for leaving your paint streaks on my vehicle. You deserve non other than to beg for my forgiveness.

Now I am fooking off to my bed until my ear drains and I can once again hear.

Follow my word......

2007-05-30T22:36:00.000+04:00

If I were to say Thermidor you would probably say lobster.....

Here goes.........

TOLLS

If you don't like it here you should leave

2007-05-30T21:46:00.000+04:00

Means any of the following:

If you don't like it here and your job is not enhancing the country, then leave.
If you can't change it and still don't like it, then leave.
If what you don't like is a part of the religion or culture here, then leave.

I agree with many that there are plenty of faults in this country, and most of my complaints would be in the judicial field. I would still prefer to live here than anywhere else on this huge planet.
Lately I have heard lots of people saying, 'don't say this' (if you dont like it....) after they make a complaint about something. But, I still want to say it. I cannot understand why people want to make so much change in a country that they are unable to adopt as their own. They will always be visitors here and the joy of living in a foreign country is that most of it is indeed Foreign.
I know we have lots of gripes about things like the traffic and Eatsalad. But some folk want to diss every single thing here, and it makes me wonder why, they don't, just leave.

A little bit messed up

2007-05-22T11:58:00.000+04:00

Living in Dubai can just about screw you head in.
All major players are liars. My friend is still waiting for her long awaited signature Palm villa. If she complains they offer to repay her money. Easy and simple.
The RTA keep on telling us that they will relieve congestion by forcing more cars onto already swollen roads. We say congestion, they say SZR. Well hello RTA, look at the roads and see with your effing eyes that we are jammed to the hilt. JAMMED-DUBAI-ROADS-RTA-FECKED
Police promise us campaigns to sort out the vomit they call traffic. They don't do it. They still let ladies off the hook (they see beds) and kids are still riding high in the front.
Immigration laid out new rules to secure housemaids last month. Guess what? A bit of Vit W goes a long way. The answer is simple.....No, you do not need to give a copy to your maid, or even take her to Immigration to sign it.
Schools and landlords are still stripping everyone of their funds and finding ways around laws and I find it amusing watching the people who complain and moan like their lives depend on it...now guess what I am going to say...IYDLITL. and come back in a few years when everyone has gone and prices have dropped a wee bit.
A boy went missing from his school the week before last. He was gone for about 4 days. It didn't even make headline news. No-one gave a fook. Welcome to the UAE.

One IDIOT among many.

2007-05-22T09:49:00.001+04:00

Do you know who this neglectful parent/Uncle/driver is? The baby was sat on its mothers lap. I had to drive at a speeds of over 160km to take these shots . . . Al Khail Road, Sunday 21st.

Block those holes!!

2007-05-07T13:21:00.000+04:00

I recommend buying some of these ear plugs to avoid having this happen to you!!!

How creeeeeeeeeeeepy.

Protect them, please.

2007-05-05T12:27:00.000+04:00

As everyone who reads my blog knows, I can piss on anything, but never childrens rights.

When I see kids without car seats/belts it makes my blood boil.
When I hear about the starving/exploited kids in the world I feel like selling my soul to save them.

I am not alone in my feelings, but sometimes I do feel that I am at the extreme end of the scale. Out of all of my friends who are also Moms, I can honestly say that only two or three of them have similar values to myself.

Once when my daughter was about 4 months old she did not stop crying for 3 days, and I had no sleep at all. Finally she fell into a deep sleep, and suddenly I had to run downstairs for something (I was in an apartment at that time). I had a number of choices, I could call the watchman to come and stay with her for 2 minutes, which I decided against, or I could wake her up which was also a bad decision. I could call my mobile from the landline and lay the phone next to her and run down the stairs (cos the lift would lose the signal)....or I could just go for it...as fast as possible. I decided to do the mad dash, in the lift, which took me about 1.20 minutes. My heart was pounding so hard. I hated myself at that moment, and promised I would never put myself in that situation again.

I have friends that do the above regularly, and tell me I am paranoid.

This story sends shivers down my spine.
As any Police Officer will tell you, that 12 hours is not good, and 24 hours is almost definite.
I do believe that if a childless person wanted to steal a child then they would choose the younger child. So we are left with morbid thoughts about why she was taken.

I hope she is safe and well, and is returned to her family. I am sure her family will never leave their kids alone again. Should they be punished or do you think they have been punished enough?

May 14th
Madeleine has still not been found. Police admit that they have no clues or suspects. It has also been revealed that the parents left their children alone every night of their holiday while they went for dinner and a few glasses of wine to 'un-wind'. They chose to leave them alone to avoid leaving them with 'strangers', or was it to avoid the 10 pound-an-hour baby sitting costs?
The grand father finds people (like myself) making these comments insulting. He may feel insulted but the truth is the truth.
The parents were unable to conceive naturally. They left their children alone. God only knows best.

EK in the year 108

2007-05-03T11:44:00.000+04:00

In the year 108 BC Roman forces under Caecilius Metellus defeat the forces of Jugurtha of Numidia at the Battle of the Muthul, with Marius as a subordinate.

Also, The Korean kingdom of Gojoseon falls.

And, The Battle of Loulan (樓蘭之戰) in the 108 BC, marks the earliest Chinese military exploration into Central Asia, after a conflicting of Loulan and Jushi with the Han Dynasty and a switch to the Xiongnu.

And, guess what? Emirates Airlines flew the world.

Heart in my mouth drive.

2007-05-03T09:42:00.000+04:00

Driving back from Choithrams today I heard the Police sirens getting closer and closer. I knew they were closing in on me. Flashing lights behind, then up ahead they were coming out of a side road, swerving and cutting in front of me. My arrest was imminent. Taking a deep breath I braced myself for the final siren-blaring car to join in from the left. Thats it. 9 cars were sent after me. I pulled over to allow them to do the necessary. Closing my eyes I waited for the tap on the window. The high pitched ringing in my ears from ultra fast pumped blood numbed out all sounds from outside. Slowly I opened my eyes. I was alone. All alone in a lay-by. The police had disappeared, the cars were passing me at a regular pace.

Looking in my grocery bag I checked that my contraband was still there, intact. All ok for now.
Telling myself I was paranoid I continued the journey, all to take pictures for you.

Anyway, I don't really care if Choithrams get into trouble for this, since I have told them 3 times already that the items containing poppy seeds may cause them some grief since the UAE has decided that these items are illegal drugs.

On the two boxes I bought (one made in Australia and the other made in the UK) the labels clearly state a warning.
Here is the one from the Carr's box: Contains Sesame seeds, Milk, soya, Gluten. Produced in a factory handling nuts.
So there you have it. They did not feel compelled to mention the poppy seeds. Why not? Because you would need to eat an awful lot of them to have any sort of 'buzz'.

For those of you who still have some in your cupboards here is a quick way to get rid of them, and also to make traffic jams a little easier to cope with.

The importation and possession of poppy seeds in any and all forms is strictly prohibited.

The importation and possession of poppy seeds in any and all forms is strictly prohibited. Persons found to possess even very small quantities of controlled substances listed by the UAE are subject to prosecution by the authorities and may be given lengthy prison terms of up to 15 years.

Waste of a lobster....

2007-05-02T19:33:00.000+04:00

I read this many years ago online, enjoy:

Susy DeLucci and the Miracle of Life. One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DaLucci of Kittery Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain. It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong hole.

She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralyzing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and the neighbors called the police.

When medics arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing.

The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a furious pace. If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened:

Ms. DeLucci official death was the result of a combination of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the toilet and then on the floor. It is believed by medical police that on two nights before the accident she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub, she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive pleasure. At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a violent snapping motion.

The medics found a lesbian XXX video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub. The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag. Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobster tail joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters. The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had crapped them out into Ms. DeLucci's cunt when she was torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period, doctors believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold throughout the US. Over night the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten minutes. You can imagine the pain she was in when she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet.

Bora Bora, tora tora

2007-05-02T19:17:00.000+04:00

Has anyone been to Bora Bora? How would I get there from UAE?
I need to go there, ASAP.

DU question

2007-05-01T22:13:00.000+04:00

Since Du are unable to answer my question after an unbearable amount of attempts, I offer it to you guys:

Du sim card in i-mate JasJam.
It works, and internet works fine too.
myworld will not open. why?
I have adjusted the settings as instructed not once, but six times.

Help me please.

Crumble for the soul

2007-05-01T21:40:00.000+04:00

Go to Choithrams and buy 4 sticks of rhubarb.
Come home and chop it into 1 inch pieces.
Put in a saucepan with a couple of tablespoons of water and the same of sugar. Let it simmer for 15 minutes.
In a bowl chop up 1/2 pack of unsalted Lurpak, add to that a few handfuls of plain flour and rub them together until you have a breadrumby mix. add 2 desert spoons of castor sugar and a sprinkling of cinnamon.
Put the oven on to 150 c.
Grease a glass dish and place rhubarb mix in it. On top throw the breadcrumby stuff. Dot a bit of butter on top if you like.
Chuck in the oven for 40 mins, and make some custard.

Sit down in front of the telly and devour. Forget you are in Dubai. Forget all about flipflops. Forget that the Minister of Education was short-changed when he was at school. Forget to eat a main course. Forget that everything is crap except for the scrummy bowl of crumble n' custard on your lap.

I really hate them

2007-05-01T07:33:00.000+04:00

In the bakeria at the gas station I saw some little plastic pots of theses cinnamon buns, they come about 5 or 6 small ones with tiny pot of sweetened cream cheese. Anyway, as with any kind of bun/doughnut/yeastbread, they really need to be eaten on the day they are manufactured.

So if I came into your store and asked you if they were made today, what would you say? YES or NO. So simple. Here is my conversation:

Me: Hello, were these made today?
Bitch: They have a good expiry date ma'aaaaaaaam.
Me: But, were they made today?
Cow: Ma'aaaaaaaaam, they are fresh.
Me: Made today?
Goat: I can microwave them ma'aaaaaaaaam.
Me: Why? Are they hard? are they NOT fresh?
Dog: Ma'aaaaaaaaaaaaaam, just try, they are nice.
Me: WERE THEY MADE TODAY? YES OR NO.
Cat: They will expire after tomorrow, ma'aaaaaaaaaaam.
Me: FFS, answer me. YES OR FUCKING NO? FRESH TODAY?
Emarat Bakeria sales asst.: no ma'aaam.

Serve me, that is all I want.

2007-04-30T21:10:00.000+04:00

I have written about the sales assistants in Debenhams (City Centre) before. Their incessant singing brings me close to tears. Everywhere you go in the shop, including the dressing rooms will introduce you to a different version of 'my heart will go on'. Now it is worse. I had the dis-pleasure of waiting to pay while the guy on the till messed around, going up and down, trying to figure out how to get the visa machine working. His pitch got higher and higher until I was sure that Celine Dion herself was going to pop up and strangle him. If they really had a good enough voice then they would be singing in the Millenium Hotel by now. The lasses were bad, he brought a whole new meaning whistle while you work.

I went to HyperPanda (yep, don't feed them skittles) and grabbed a couple of kitchen appliances, in huge boxes. Wheeled them around the corner to Ikea. Once inside I waited to be escorted to the holding area to leave my goods, but no-one came, they stared at me like my knickers had dropped to my ankles. I asked the lady at the main area (with so many braces in her mouth, I swear they wrapped around her peanut brain too) where I could leave my trolley. She said OUTSIDE.

WTF?

I said we used to leave it here. She said it could not be done anymore and I could go down to the Mezzanine floor, turn left, then right, then left and through the car park and around the corner and turn right and then left and then.....WHAT?
"Shall I just go to my car and save myself some time?" I asked.
YES she said looking through me. "Well, if I go to my car I will probably not bother coming back, it does not feel worth it. And I only needed to buy enough furniture to kit out a compound of show houses but I won't bother (a bit OTT, I know, I am sure she didn't know I was only there to pick up a takeaway of shrimp sandwich for my son)".
OK, said she.
SHE SAID OK.

OfuckingK

I hate her. I really do.

*all sales assistants in todays episodes are flipflops*

Do you do it too?

2007-04-30T09:17:00.000+04:00

How many of you are guilty of votesturbating? I am, and have done it many times.

Lady Wildfire

2007-04-24T11:34:00.000+04:00

Business Bay Bridge is a marvellous thing, don't y'all think? You can pick up unbelievable speeds and get from start to finish in less than 60 seconds, unless there are A-D plated Chargers in your way (Emirati, that better not have been youuuuuuu). Only thing is.....there is a portable radar detector in between the 2 flyovers that are undergoing construction. Pics of my speeding monster coming soon to a newspaper near you;

Buj tagged me, oh man, not again. How much can a simple girl tell you about herself? I shall think on that one. . . . . . . . . . . . . .I have a really ghastly scar on my body. Can anyone guess where it is and how long it is? Long Distance is not allowed to enter this one;

I like PandaHyperMarket (I think that is wrong, it seems awfully long to me....anyway it is called Panda something or HyperPanda something)...can you imagine a hyper Panda? lool, that sounds like Dubai. Everything here is hyper or mega or just plain Panda.
The cashier was an idiot. His name was Obaid Raihan I think, not sure on that one. He had his mouth wide open while his very goofy (and unbrushed) teeth chewed gum like a wild donkey. He said not a word to me, not a ditty doo. I didn't even know he was waiting for my money until I looked up and saw the total on the screen. Such ignorance is disgraceful these days. I am sick of it. Now all of you go to Panda and check this guy out. He is working mornings this week I believe.

Wafi Robbery? Getting so fucking sick of hearing about. Everyone has a theory but I have lost interest. It happened, it was bound to happen and it will happen again. shame really. Welcome to Dubai. Ahlan Wa Sahlan, to the land of money launderers, whores, slave drivers and now THIEVES.

GOOD LUCK

2007-04-12T22:37:00.000+04:00

5 Things you didn't know about me

2007-04-12T10:45:00.000+04:00

Since I was tagged (I was a last resort, but it's ok) I will do it anyway.
Most of you know enough about me by now.

1) I live on Lobster, Crayfish and Swiss Chocolate, but when desperate and those items are out of reach then I will settle for Prawns and Dutch Chocolate.

2) I have a bicycle.

3) I have anxiety attacks, especially when stuck in traffic (I cannot be stuck in the middle lane.................aaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh). This may explain my rather rash driving habits.

4) I get recurrent Bursitis in my hip which causes me a lot of anguish and embarrassment, along with a limp.

5) I have extensive knowledge about Rey Myserio, Randy Orten, Batista and John Cena. Do you?

No.6 was not asked for, but I always add one for luck

6) I swim every day.

Now I am going to tag: Kaya and Madman Moryarti (who is now at boiling point). I wanted to tag Long Distance but she won't open a blog for fear of having her identity stolen/revealed.

Support childrens rights.

2007-04-11T12:17:00.000+04:00

I was delighted to see the copper pulling over the blacked out Cherokee near the Defense R/A this morning. From his position he could see through the front windscreen and noticed a young child on the lap of the front passenger. The driver started to protest but he waved his hands in defiance and was not taking any lip from her. Bravo

Ugly mug

2007-04-10T19:17:00.000+04:00

After ordering some drinks in the coffee shop the waiter says he has no change for a 500 note. He stands there, mouth hanging. Duuuuuuuuuh. Friend hands him credit card....off he goes. Then my friend says that there are 3 cookies in the bag and she only ordered one. His mouth hangs again....duuuuuuuuuuh. He asks waitress why. Then he comes back and says one order is 3 pieces. ok. CC receipt is signed. We ask where the 4th bottle of water is ..... mouth hangs...duuuuuuuuuuuuh. He thought we asked for 3. Forget it, we say. We will take 3.

Back to the bowling lane. After 10 minutes Mr. Duh walks over to ask if we can pay cash for the water as he forgot to put it on the bill. hmmm. After all the fiasco about the 500 note you would have thought that he might have ensured he had included everything...alas....duuuuuuuuuuh. Good job we had the change.

Half an hour later I go over and order some lunch. I ask him to make it ready in 30 mins and to let us know when our table is ready. Ok. 25 minutes later (YES, 5 mins before it should be ready) he comes over and asks if he can make my sandwich with brown bread as he has no white. I said no. I did not want the brown. Then I asked him if the other food was ready. He said yes. How long has it been ready? 15 mins. hmmm duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.
I told him to make me anything. ANYFUKKINGTHING. By now this guy is beginning to annoy me.

15 minutes later he comes over with a stack of polystyrene containers in his arms. WTF? where is our table? Oh duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh. He thought it was a take away. I knew what the take away was and it was not the food.

I asked him if he remembered me asking him to let me know when our table would be ready. His mouth hung in a duhhhhhhhhhhh-ish kindof way. The food was as bad as expected.
What a dick. I left 1 dirham tip. Was I mean?

Weird in Seattle

2007-04-05T09:00:00.000+04:00

30-yr-old woman posed as boy, abused girlfriend

I have so many questions, and you must have too.
How? Why? What a fecked up world we are living in. So many weirdos....

Hostages everywhere

2007-04-03T19:28:00.000+04:00

I fear that the German (Iraqi) Hostages in Iraq are losing press coverage due to the British Sailors being held in Iran taking centre stage. I am not sure if this is a good or bad thing. Perhaps the Germans will be released if no-one is listening, but then again.....

Personally with Iraq's history I am inclined to say that Bush & Blair should focus a little bit more on that side (did they not instigate the whole thing after all?). Iran are not very likely to release the British sailors until they have made their point, but I hardly think their lives are in imminent danger.

What say you?

Online offers & news

2007-04-01T08:11:00.000+04:00

Some good deals I found online today. Flights to the moon, one way ticket please.

Interesting news: Apple and Google have abandoned their individual mobile phone projects for a joint venture. wow.

The Ultimate Firefox extension. This I need.

My favourite site has now launched a RoboGirlfriend, "No trips to the gym to maintain her figure, no lengthy discussions about 'commitment', no irritating habits that can't be reprogrammed. This is the most convenient way to conduct a relationship for busy professionals. And no resentment or guilt when you trade her in for a new model!"

The BBC have launched a new sniff-screen. yummma

Kaya, what have u done now girl?

2007-03-29T17:12:00.001+04:00

Kaya has hit the headlines, leaking gas me thinks.

i have a big ugly scare on my face! Help!

2007-03-28T12:13:00.000+04:00

Actually I don't have a big ugly scare (scar?) on my face.....but someone in Dubai does, and when they went agoogling, THIS blog is where they were directed. Crikey.
Anyway, my suggestion is that you should wear a Burqa for as long as required and do not fear, at least your scar is on your face. If it had been your heart or your brain then you would have had a lot more to worry about.

All Over

2007-03-27T21:09:00.000+04:00

The last few weeks have zoomed by, where shall I start?

Good shit:

1. Business Bay Crossing: saving me at least one hour of traffic every day. I hardly know what to do with my extra time.

2. Xpress: The first tabloidy paper that I actually enjoy reading. 7 Days can finally stop trying to locate my residence, face it, you will never manage to deliver a copy to me. I know you tried, it is ok.

3. Jumana: What an excellent performance. I thoroughly enjoyed the evening and wish that I had never wasted time going to Quidam. Photos will follow soon.

4. Shakira : Phewwwwww, I had a funny feeling it was going to be a dramatic evening. TG I didn't go. I would have accumulated a dozen new phobias.

5. School: I think that I have finally secured the place for my daughters change of school. Fingers crossed.....will know definitely in a few days. And before you ask, yes, Mr Wasta was extremely kind to me. Am I ashamed? NOPE. Vitamin W is essential when taking care of loved ones.

Bad news:

1. I have not become extinct, I was hibernating.

2. Al Khail road is still grid locked for 3 hours every morning. I am in the middle of it, drive at your own risk.

3. One of last years root canals has failed and an abscess has formed. The whole thing had to be drilled out and cleaned, packed with a litre of chemicals designed to kill a couple of rhinoceroses and I am taking enough antibiotics to ensure a healthy growth of candida to keep Caneston in business for the next 10 years. I feel guilty and wish I could share my medication with the entire population of Dharfur.

4. I have managed to pull a muscle at the top of my thigh...don't even ask. I swear I don't know how I did it. I have a feeling that I was scrunched up so tightly in the Dentists chair that I caused multiple spasms from my neck down to my toes. Suffice to say it is painful and I am getting some right funny looks.

5. Jumeirah beach has disappeared. Petition if you like, but me thinks you are wasting your time. Dubai left a long time ago anyway, it is over.

E15

2007-03-20T13:13:00.001+04:00

FFS, I am so pissed reading people comments about others spending habits. Who has the right to judge how folk spend their dosh? If someone has more money than another, are they obligated to help the starving and poor of the world? What if that richer person worked harder than the poorer judging complaining whinger ....perhaps we should suggest that the 'have-nots' go and work harder and make more money to donate to the poor.
Somehow I read more into this. I don't think it is about how he spent his money on a number plate...nor is it about starving poor people.
Personally I don't think he is bonkers. He was spending his money, hard earned or otherwise. And most likely he was buying it for someone else anyway (as a lot of those at the auctions are doing).

You crappy disgusting judgmental monkeys. Another thing to add to my phobia list.

Alive and kicking (get out of my way)

2007-03-13T12:46:00.000+04:00

I have nothing of interest to blog about other than to let anyone who reads this know that I am still alive. I was depressed and sad at life, and then became so busy that I had no time left to wallow in my deplorable misfortunes. It is a shame, I was enjoying that gray shade that the world had become in my eyes. I also had an excellent time running people off roads and causing some major havoc to others. It gave me a sense of satisfaction that is hard to attain though other means. Yeh, I know, what a disgusting person I am....blah blah... does it really matter though? Being a Road-runner or being Homophobic or even a Racist.... Do I need to be held accountable to anyone? I learnt this last night when the Trustees of the Board at my daughters school said that they were accountable to no-one. wow. How nice that must be.

Here is a list of some of my phobias.

Anginophobia
Asthenophobia
Bogyphobia
Cleithrophobia
Dentophobia
Hadephobia
Homophobia
Nyctohylophobia
Odontophobia
Pentheraphobia
Russophobia
Staurophobia
Tetanophobia
Walloonphobia

I have one more, it is a fear of shaking hands. I am not afraid of the hands, but what they may carry. I doubt that I am an obsessive-compulsive disordered person, but I do need to wash my hands fairly quickly after shaking.

I want one of these.
They look like a lot of fun.

Does eating a bag of mini creme eggs cancel out one round of Safa Park? Hmm I thought so. What a shame.

Click here to listen to the fantastic sounds of the Lyre Bird.

Watch this Owl turn into a Cat.

Did they forget who I am ?

2007-03-06T21:32:00.000+04:00

I was down, but never out. Not me, not I.
Curing the blues was a hard task, but after tail-gating a couple of www.iamspasticjumeirahjane.coms in their www.lookatmefuckerpajero.coms I feel pleasantly refreshed. Leaving their fuchicles spinning off Al Manara Road I continued on to Park n Vomit to torment mrs.icantdrivemylandcruisers. It is great to park behind them and leave a couple of inches maneuvering room, and then sit there shielded by the mukhfi (tinted windows you dickhead) and watch them strain and swear.....jeeeeez, why do these guys buy their wives such monstrocities? Have you ever watched them try to reverse? They have their hands flat out on the wheel with fingers straight. If they tried to bend them to hold onto the wheel (and actually steer the darned thing) they may damage their french manicures. Oh flip. I wanna see them once they are back home in their Ford Fiestas, winding through the streets of Tonbridge.....hair clipped up, nails chipped, stacks of ironing awaiting them. I bet they won't miss me though.

Besides harassing poor housewives I have been following other drivers. Yes, c'est moi. MOI. YES MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. If they pissed me off then I was behind them. I dedicated entire days to scare the effing shite out of them. Photographing them, cutting them up, boxing them in and generally making their lives a worse hell than they could have imagined.

Phew, anyway, I am back to normal and on the mend. Not much can stop me.

Tragic Times

2007-02-26T12:22:00.000+04:00

Emotional pain is one of the worst ailments that I know of. There is no cure. Medication can mask the deep aching inside, but ultimately it needs to be given time. It has to run an ugly course through which it will pass many stages, hopefully changing in intensity at each step.
I have been told that it starts with something like heartbroken/hopeless and should end up near, or at, disappointed.
If that is true, or not, I cannot say. Right now I would guess that I am somewhere in the crushed/devastated slot.
I shall come back to blog and explain should my emotions move in the correct direction.

10,000th visitor is LONG DISTANCE !!!!!!!!

2007-02-16T08:53:00.000+04:00

A few things....

2007-02-15T20:50:00.000+04:00

1. Road Tolls.
"The toll system will be called Salik which in Arabic means clear," said Maitha Obaid Bin Udai, Chief Executive Officer of the Traffic and Roads Agency at the Dubai Roads and Transport Authority (RTA).
What she means is that the roads where the toll system is in place will be clear.
The rest of the roads will be worse than the mayhem we currently have to endure. With little or no alternative (a floating bridge due for completion in March 2007) I can see the problems.
I already am aware of 2 very large corporations that will be issuing prepaid stickers to most of their employees to lessen the expense of driving. The companies want their workers to be on time and to be happy. Most of the people who will benefit from this will be expats.

So, there we have it, poorer folks and Nationals will be forking out while most of the expats will insist on their companies supplying them with 'road toll stickers'.

If the way she applies her mask is anything to go by, then be prepared. Only one word springs to mind. Hideous.

BTW, did anyone see The Phantom of the Opera?

2. This was one of the first things I saw on the road yesterday morning. Was it a sign of something? It was Valentines day after all.

Yesterday I went to the opening of Marks & Spencers new store in Festival City. It was nice and spacious and that is about all I have to say. Except that they have their own bakery. I bought a few of these most yummy Lemon & White chocolate muffins. When you break/bite them in half they have the most gorgeous gooey centre with strands of chocolate weaving in and out of some lemon curdy stuff. NICE.
My pic does not do them credit. I swear it was a good pic until blogger got its hands on it, and the white background has changed to green and there are white flecks all over it, I want old blogger back.

Dusit

2007-02-09T09:04:00.000+04:00

Chim chim cheree!

2007-02-07T12:33:00.000+04:00

Not being a medical expert frustrates me at times. I am quite interested in genes and forensic science, so if I come across an interesting article or a piece of information, I cannot leave it alone until I get to the bottom of the story. This rarely happens and I end up totally perplexed and wishing that I had the knowledge to go deeper.

As most of you know, last year I was 'gifted' a bull calf. He came from the dairy farm, and as a male was unwanted. They keep no males, as the females are all artificially inseminated. I suppose it is expensive to keep and feed Bulls when a vial of semen (highest quality) costs around $25.00, quite a bargain really! Anyway...through my research I now consider myself quite well-versed on the ins and outs of cattle breeding. One thing I have learned is that when twins are born to a cow is this:

2 males = ok (2 bull calfs)
2 females = ok (2 heifers)
1 male + 1 female = male ok. Female sterile (in 88% of cases). (1 bull calf & 1 free martin)

So rather than give me a bull calf that will grow into a BULL, they could have waited and given me a FreeMartin. Anyway.....it seems that this rule about Free Martins is true to all cattle unlike species who produce litters (like dogs, pigs etc). It is an abnormal sex developement, something to do with blood vessels fusing in the embryos causing a common blood supply.....end result is a female looking cow with some degree of maleness in her.

Next step....I wondered about humans. We are a weird lot (well not me, but maybe you), so I did some research. This led me to reading about Chimeras. This then led me to the forensic side of things. If the UAE courts need a witness to convince them that a child who was born prematurely (i.e. 8 months after marriage) does in fact belong to the father (they refuse DNA evidence)......then some Chimeras in this country could really stir up some big shit.